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Weather & Seasons Jokes
In Canada, the weather is a year-round hobby, a conversation starter, and — from November to April — a personality. These twenty-five jokes cover the whole forecast, with the snowmen carrying most of the winter workload. Tap any card for the punchline.
What do you call a snowman standing in July?
A puddle.
What does a cloud put on under its raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What did the tornado say to the little sports car?
“Want to go for a spin?”
What did the fog whisper to the coastline?
“I mist you already.”
Why did the cloud feel so generous?
It was ready to shower everyone with gifts.
Why did the sun take a night class?
It wanted to get brighter.
What do you call a bear caught out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What did one winter toque say to the other?
“You hang out here — I'll go on a-head.”
How does a snowman get to work in the morning?
By icicle.
What's a snowman's favourite breakfast?
Snowflakes, with extra frost on top.
Why did the girl leave her trumpet out in the snow?
She wanted to play some cool jazz.
What falls all winter long but never gets hurt?
The snow.
How can you tell it's a true Canadian cold snap?
Even the snowmen are asking to come inside.
Why did the shovel fall out with the snowbank?
It was tired of getting the cold shoulder.
What do you step in when it rains cats and dogs?
Poodles.
What did one raindrop say to the other?
“Two's company — three makes a cloud.”
Why did the TV weather reporter bring a ladder to work?
He heard the temperatures were climbing.
Why did the little cloud visit the doctor?
It was feeling under the weather.
What does a snowman order for lunch?
An ice-burger — hold the melt.
What do snowmen do on weekends?
Mostly just chill.
Why did the thermometer go back to school?
It was after a couple more degrees.
What do you call hail with a sense of humour?
A real ice-breaker at parties.
How cold did it get last January?
So cold, the snowmen started building people.
How does a thunderstorm start a race?
“On your mark… get set… FLASH!”
What did one rainbow say to the other after the storm?
“Arc you glad that's over?”
Telling them well
Weather jokes are perishable goods: the snowman material (numbers 1, 9, 13, 19, 20, 23) must be told while there's actual snow on the ground. Rain jokes keep all year.
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25 jokes on this one — 25 waiting on each of the others.